Well I have to admit that in comparison to this subject the previous three seems much easier! One of the reasons is that actually we are never taught anything about it at all. And not only that, via magazines, cinema, TV and even from close family and friends people we receive a lot of misleading information and conflicting ideas which can lead us to a lot of trouble in our effort to find the correct partner. The other reason is that a relationship has to do with our own selves and our self (ego), although it may sound strange, is our most difficult opponent!
And this is the first thing that we have to realize. That if not all of the times, then a lot of them, it is ourselves that through our relationship, causing a lot of trouble to our lives. You see the biggest part of our character is shaped by the time we are six years old! Of course unconsciously. So we have to deal with experiences and ideas that are lost inside us, but still their affect on us is primal.
You understand the impasse of the situation. We are dealing with our adult experiences and plans more or less according to the experiences (and the way it translated them) of a five years old child! I know that this is a difficult picture to accept and of course a lot of people may say “well if it is like this there wouldn’t be any successful relationships” But there are. One reason is simply luck. Some people – not a lot – have the luck to meet the correct person sometimes even in their first relationship. Some others have the capability to learn from their mistakes, so after some time they end up with something good. And the last category and from what it looks the majority, are the people that just accept their situation by saying that “ok what can we do? This is how life is. And even if I change this I will have different kind of problems” or because of insecurity “what to do, where to go” they just continue in a bad relationship. Or even worst they try to improve things by acting wrongly.
Now if you add to these all the incorrect and misleading information that you receive from your environment, you can easily understand why there is so much unhappiness around. Most of the time the media are projecting a glamorous, shining world, where the appearance and the material acquisitions play the first and most important role. Forgetting that what really counts when you are lying in bed, beside each other naked, isn’t the room or the cloths that lying on the floor, but what each of you have inside.
Not to mention the “kick” of reality in daily life. The repetition of the same things day in, day out, the small faults that slowly become really annoying, the tiredness from your daily duties etc. etc.
So are we doomed to fail? Well not at all. On the contrary, relationships can be a source of happiness, creativity and mutual help. We have a saying here in Greece “a shared difficulty is a half difficulty and a shared happiness is a double happiness!”
This is what a relationship can offer. And yes Love is an important subject. It is the foundation of the relationship. But still on its own, is not enough. Actually through the misunderstandings which (consciously or unconsciously) we keep to our selves, it can often be also a reason for trouble itself.
The solution to all the above is again knowledge. For what really means “Relationship” and how to keep it alive, because when left alone it’s not only dying, but it can also turn against you. What is communication and why is so necessary. How can you really translate respect? What are the crucial differences in the needs between men and women and why they are so important? How a couple can be damaged because of them or is benefited by understanding them and sometimes supporting them or sometimes controlling them.
We all devote a lot of time to our job/work. Not only while working but also previously whilst studying. But how useful is a successful job, if you are returning to a home where misery is the king? Or at best to a home where smiles and happiness are rare visitors! Work is important but also relationship, together with friendship and other personal or general values. What you have to do is to bring balance to the way that you are using your time. Time is your Life and for the most of you an important part of our Life is your Relationship.
So very simply what you should do is to devote some time in order to learn at least the basic about the needs of a successful relationship. And this is exactly what I’m offering to you! How to lay the foundations for a healthy and long lasting relationship, one that not only you will enjoy being in, but also that with time will grow and flower!!